Celebrate Who You Already Are

Updated: Jun 23

Hello Beautiful Humans!


Plato once said, "The essence of knowledge is self-knowledge" and while I believe that to be true, we often look inside ourselves only to see our weaknesses and short-comings. When we set out on the journey of self-growth and change we tend to focus on our negative traits, but what about the positive? What about our strengths, abilities and talents?



Everywhere you look we are told on a daily basis to be positive, make positive changes, speak positive words, but what about the positive that is already in us? I call these 'Your Golden Truths'. They are the truth of who you are and what you are about. They are the positive traits that make up your personality and being. Some examples might be; compassionate, artistic, empathetic, kind, supportive, intelligent, etc. These are things that describe who you are, but they are not learned or habitual traits. They are naturally occurring. I believe they are a part of our genetic make-up. Can they be changed, improved, lost...? Probably.



We sometimes get so caught up in being a small fish in a big pond or being a tiny part of this big, wide world that we forget we are the center of our own universe and there are beautiful and wonderous things already existing in it...in us! They get overlooked and overshadowed on our pursuit to recognize and fix what is 'wrong' with us on our journey to become a better human being. We almost always look for what is broken and rarely ever appreciate what is working well.


It is common for people to be over critical of themselves. We tend to hold ourselves to a higher standard than we hold others. We are more critical of our own short comings and less tolerant of our own behaviors and yet when it comes to our positive attributes, we seldom celebrate our wins or take the time to truly acknowledge the good qualities that are already in us. We might celebrate it when we reach our dieting goal, get that promotion or ace that test, but do we also appreciate when we are compassionate, empathetic and just plain kind? And, do we appreciate it when we are all these things to ourselves?



There's a difference between recognition and acknowledgement. Let's make a couple of distinctions before we continue on.


1. Helping others for recognition

This is not meant to be an insult to anyone who chooses to help others.

However, when we are helping others simply for the recognition and

glorification is not done with sincerity for the person being helped. Granted,

sometimes it is done to bring awareness to a cause, but when you are posting

such things on social media for the "Likes", it devalues the act. You are no

longer helping someone for their benefit or your inner self benefit.


2. Helping others without recognition

A growing amount of research, as referred to in an article by T Ryan Byerly

(cited below) is leading to the conclusion that helping others without self

recognition can be productive to our own happiness by creating connections

with others we are creating value to both the person being helped and to

ourselves.


By helping others we are exercising our attributes of compassion and empathy. It makes us feel good inside. We have somehow made life, or even just the day, a little better and a little brighter for someone else and that directly affects our own happiness and self-worth. So why don't we feel the same way when exhibit compassion and empathy to ourselves?



I don't have any scientific research studies or genetic maps to cite, but I do humbly believe that it stems back to our ancient ancestors. Their chances of survival were greater in numbers when it came to defeating enemies, predators or simply hunting and gathering food, so looking out for each other was an important part of life. Since it is believed that the limbic reaction behaviors stem from this type of genetic predisposition, I believe that the urge to help others could also be.


I know, I know, this sounds great, but what does that have to do with appreciating these attributes towards ourselves? Chill! I'm getting there.


Although this is slowly changing in today's world, there is still a sense that when we look at ourselves or celebrate our own natural abilities we often feel selfish or unworthy. Below is a personal example.


I am an artist! It has taken me almost 35 years to be able to say this. I have

always known that I had artistic abilities. My creativity has never been in short

supply and I am often the one my friends and family come to when they want

a painting, sketch or crafty project completed. My art hangs in dorms, doctor

offices, homes and businesses across the United States and has since I was a

teenager, yet I could not bring myself to say "I AM an artist!" Why? I felt guilty

saying it. I felt undeserving. I felt as if there are so many fabulously talented

people out there who are far better than myself that calling myself an artist

compared to them seemed like a lie. Yet, I AM an artist. I spent most of my life

focusing on the negative 'that others were better than myself' than I did

understanding and acknowledging that I am gifted. It wasn't until my coach

helped me to see that the negativity coming out of my mouth is dictating

what I believe about myself.



And that brings me to my next point. What you dwell on becomes your reality. Your mind will begin to believe what you ruminate on, especially if it is repetitively vocalized. This is known as Manifestation. I believe that Mara Santilli gives a good explanation of this in her article 'Why is Everyone Obsessed With Manifesting and Does It Actually Work? (cited below) so I won't be going too far into that here except to say that I do believe this works, but it takes patience and dedication to create the habit and eventually a belief...AND it works both ways. When you repetitively focus on the negative, the negative is what you will see. When you repetitively focus on the positive, you will see positive results.


All of this leads me to what is already inside of us that we keep suppressed. The positive attributes that are screaming to be noticed and acknowledged. Like in my example above, just making the truth that I am gifted was difficult for me, but it is none the less a truth, a Golden Truth, of who I am. Knowing this, acknowledging this and believing this has increased my confidence in my courage making me an even better artist than I was before. The same can apply to other areas of who we are!



So when you are looking in the mirror of your inner self, don't just realize the areas where you need improvement, but understand that there are parts of you who are fantastic and amazing and they deserve...you deserve to give yourself credit and celebrate those Golden Truths.


Challenge:

Make a list of your Golden Truths.


Morals of the Story:

  1. Everyone has positive traits within us that should be celebrated and acknowledged.

  2. As humans, we tend to help, encourage, support and acknowledge others and often fail to do the same for ourselves. Doing this for and to ourselves often leads us to feel selfish or undeserving.

  3. What you dwell on becomes your reality, positive or negative.

  4. Acknowledging and celebrating your Golden Truths gives you confidence and courage.

Citations:


Helping Others - https://forge.medium.com/why-helping-others-is-more-rewarding-than-helping-yourself-8c182fd086ee


Manifesting - https://www.self.com/story/does-manifesting-work


















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